christmas

Well, another has come and gone...
this year it was special...
no snow, no tree, no family around me, BUT! I had a wonderful Christmas experience.
I had clients who had shown extreme generosity and (I'd like to think) expressed their deep appreciation of me which made me feel on top of the world. I also had the opportunity to bring a little smile to the people I care most about. In addition, Shasta had passed her blood test with flying colors and got excellent report about her health and organ functions. Plus, I again reconnected with friends whom I had long lost and whom I cherish still today. This all came after my semester closing of four A's, which put me on the honor's list at FAU. Whoohoooooo!
I feel great and love my life today. I look forward to the sunrise tomorrow and running into the sunset in the evening. In between, I will soak up my puppy's undying love and affection and the fulfillment of my "work".
I tell you, this IS my bucket list. I am living it, every day. For if I die tomorrow, I will not think of why I haven't learned to fly a helicopter or had gone hang gliding, but I will think of the many sunsets over the water and the slow walks with Shasta, my clients beaming face in exhaustion, my medals hanging on the wall, the feel of a hot shower after a bone breaking long run, and the taste of a good wine (Barefoot Shiraz, $5.99 at Publix) on my cushy red couch. I will not think of places I haven't seen and books I haven't read, love I didn't make and children I didn't raise. I will think of the many special people in my life, my triumphs and my contributions, and who I am as a whole, good and bad, strong and beautiful. This is my bucket list...
But, I am not ready to check out, because my personality dictates that I will look for improvements and challenges to come. This is my strenght and my downfall. This makes me better with age, but restless in everyday life. I cannot keep an intimate relationship because I dread the usual and will always look for something better. I am stuck in eternal dissatisfaction IF I stick with a mate. So there. My bucket list ends with someone as unsettled as I. someone I can love for his craziness and personal quest to find balance that doesn't exist. Hm.. can't win every battle, but I will love the fight and embrace the war.

Peace to all, and love who you are (no matter what your psychiatrist tells you...)

What? Did I title this Christmas? Oh well...Christ is in here somewhere...

news stuff

Well, I actually had a quiet period when I didn't have to vent about anything or anyone... But just check the news now... mother murders adorable angleface girl, because she was hindering her social life. Selfish little b... make her volunteer for the rest of life, cleaning up kennels at the pet adoption center.
Then there is doubleyou. George, that is... with shoes flying at him... and stand up Americans saying how disrespectful it was for that Iraqi to throw them. Well, my friends, here is a slice of reality from an eye witness: we have destroyed that country... The town where I used to be stationed and was pretty big and lively with its markets and universities exists no more. Children are running around in the rubbles shoeless, begging for food (the ones that are not trying to throw handgranades inside the Humvees). School?? What's that? How can they even think about that? Half of them are bombed out anyway. So life, as it used to be, has changed dramatically. But we don't' know that because it's not on the news. We don't have to live in bombed out buildings in the cold and dark (they have to ration power too), fighting for food. So a shoe in the face from a frustrated father is quite appropriate.. I think I would've thrown at least a rotten egg at the greedy idiot. That's just my opinion...

And for the financial meltdown of another greedy bastard: cliches say it all sometimes: if it's too good to be true, chances are, it is not true. So 'don't put your eggs in one basket', but that doesn't excuse the behavior of one selfish ass who gambled away people's hard work (and inheritance). No fix here...

By the way, watch out for the latest trick in stores! accidentally leaving bags full of merchandise at the register!!! Since I usually multitask and try to stay distracted so I don't start hating the people in the stores acting rude and inconsiderate, I sometimes don't pay attention (imagine that..) to what I am walking out with. It happened to me twice in one day. The clerk just doesn't hand me my stuff and I have to go back to pick up what I had already paid for. Make sure to check and have everything becasue if one out of every ten people doesn't care about a lost grocery or shopping bag or is not able to travel back, they have made some extra bux with your money. And it's annoying to have to drive back... I did it three times last week... I am going to fix this.

and, Christians everywhere: we cannot take Christ out of Christmas because it's spelled like that so chillllllll!!!!!

aspirations

this really should be comment of the week.

I read in Shape magazine (after watching the interview on the Today Show) from Faith Hill that to avoid getting bored and for the best workout to stay toned she does Pilates... really? I thought helo-skiing would be more appropriate. This blows my mind every time. Pilates??? How do you elongate 15lbs of fat? Or does it just get airbrushed off ya? And for someone like Faith Hill (who should have access to ANY kind of workout she can think of) to say that the ultimate challenge and variety comes from Pilates...???? Really? ah, that's how she thinks Tim Mcgraw is hot.. like Pilates.
Without being judgmental, it's fine for everyone to choose their best interest, the only problem I have is with a star like Faith to put the wrong idea in little people's heads. She probably has a very good nutritionist, maybe even a personal chef, and other fitness and health professionals advising her and keeping her in shape. Three one hour classes a week won't do it. So let's be honest! Pilates is a great extra, however, it is not a solution for any of your fitness dilemmas. Except maybe for core strenghtening. But you can only do that if you are not 30 lbs overweight and are able to hold yourself up in any position. There has to be a base built even for Pilates.
So, if Pilates is *(^*&%&^, Faith, you need to get out more.

I was also asked recently why I don't teach Pilates (having Mat Pilates Instructor cert.). To which I responded with "It's not my speed". I don't love it and it bores me to tears. Up, two, three, four, and down, two, three, and four. Inhale, inhale, three, four, and exhale, two, three and four.

Yeaaaaah...

Back to one of my core beliefs: life is not rolling on pulleys and you're not always strapped in. Train to live better, to stay stronger, chances are, your body will not be airbrushed for a magazine cover...don't believe the crap you read!

peace within

hmm.. more private matters - shared in cyberspace (and with my three readers).

I am fighting my eternal dilemma of finding peace without self loathing, without prejudice, without doubts and without any other questions to myself. Yes, peace within.

That's a BIG WORD. Because, for me, there is always a counter word. always. If I am happy, I will wonder if it's real, how long it will last, and I can not relax and have peace, because there is always something. Something else. If I am confident, something will come along and take it all from me. Something, (usually) that I let into my life KNOWING that it will derail me. Oh, you say, is that the definition of selfdestruction? perhaps. And that worries me too. Yet, I cannot seem to stop doing it. I don't want to be perfect. I don't, at all. for several reasons. One is, that I know without inflation, that I can be top notch good- being half assed... second is, because I get bored easily, and being ALL GOOD takes all your focus and determination and energy, leaving nothing for actual self expression. I don't want to loose myself in the process. Take me with my imperfections, my human downfalls, AND my talents and compassion.

Sometimes I feel that I have something extra, that is what makes me unique, and strong, and there are times I feel I have something missing, and that is what makes me feel, well, the opposite - and weak. Weak is the worst. Weak cannot get out of any holes, weak will wither away... I am not weak, just lost. Sometimes. But for most of the other times, I am able to improvise and pull off a pretty good performance. Pretty darn good. Though I am not bragging and I am not proud of it, it's almost like I am laughing to myself a little bit, like when tricking my father into thinking what a hard worker I was when not even doing homework, because I am coasting on my natural abilities. Being fortunate for having some, and being doomed with my EQ, that has a range of INSANE to HALF DEAD. What am I to do???

I am not sure. But more and more I think that I have to tone it down. Both ways. I will not be the great savior of the human race, nor will I be the destruction of myself. Somewhere in between I shall find the golden median, where I can help some people and make myself happy without pretence. Without pretence. With eternal peace... No, I will not find Jesus, he's not lost. I have to find myself. What? You say 40 years should've been enough? oh yeah? By whose standards?? Who's setting the rules?? Bow down to society? I don't think so. If nothing else, I will try to be true to myself and will not give up this search till I stumble upon what I am looking for. Even if I am 80. At least I will have been true to one thing: my search.

Compromise is death. Conform to society, family, husband, career, 2.43 children, 401K.
Are you happy?? Are you in PEACE?

Few of us are. Don't' give up search. Don't be afraid. It's hard and it's lonely and it's difficult to keep going. But one thing you cannot expect from anyone else is to bring it to you.

Maybe the peace within is accepting eternal imbalance... could I be so lucky?

Holidays

Dear readers and everyone I know,

HAVE A WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING!

my roots and my profession

I recently received a comment (and I was very happy that I did) about my previous post that talks about my roots and Hungarian bad foods. This anonymous person wrote to me to defend Hungarian foods, saying that there are NO bad foods only lazy lifestyle. Which is sort of true. However, in case this tiny fact escaped the writer's attention, I claim to be a fitness guru and know a little about nutrition. Know enough that cooking with LARD is not going to make you any good foods. Putting it on bread either. Frying dough and sifting powdered sugar on it won't do it too. Eating lots of fats, trans and saturated, is NOT GOOD. Neither here nor there. I grew up in Hungary (in case that wasn't implied enough) and I didn't grow up eating fish and vegetables. I grew up eating floury stuff, fatty things, processed meat (such as salami, pate', sausages and other cold cuts), and breads. I also say that we ate other vegetables that are not common to eat here and are very very good for you, like beets, radish and cabbage. We also ate lots of fruit. But the staple "thing" that gave flavour to our main meals, usually, was FAT. If you think that is GOOD for you than you may blame this country for getting fat yourself, I suppose. Yes, we also walked everywhere and carried our groceries home in bags all the way from the supermarket. We walked to school. We walked to work.

The fact remains, fats are bad and too many carbs are bad as well. BUT, that also doesn't mean that are no fit Hungarians... did I say that???? I'm one too.
It is also OK to eat BAD FOODS in measure, and that's not a bucket, if you know what I mean. So live a happy full life eating what you like but not too much of it, and do some extra work because our lifestyle does not allow for enough mobility anymore (here). I hope that cleared up some of the 'bad air' and no one got offended. I just don't like the blaming game where we say, "oh, it's not the foods we eat that are bad or badly chosen, it's the lazy American lifestyle". Well, no, you are wrong. It's both.

Mangia!

nuttin in pa'ticular

nothing to report, anyway. or nothing blog rated.. heehee
sorry guys, I too, have to maintain my politician's profile in zee public eye, since I put myself out there. So, what's new? Cold weather in Florida, an Achilles injury, papers due in school, the world's greatest pork roast and Shasta's new best friend. Ok, that's pushing it.

I had a very eventful and emotional week and I hope the next will be just as intense - I live for drama! I am my own soap opera. Aren't we all, though?

Christmas is approaching which means more self reflection and more emotions. More wine too. But I've got a plan to derail this train and will promptly escape from it by travel and other activities. Sex would be a good one. Just imagine, if I was a qualified therapist I would so tell everyone to have more sex and relieve stress and derail negative thoughts by focusing on the highest attainable pleasure for self and immersion into the scent of someone else. Sounds good, doesn't it? In the case of lack of partner, wine always works. heehee. We'll stop there for now.

I most say that training, clients and friends and my puppy, along with wholesome cooking and good wines are the essence of life (in the absence of family, in my case), and I am happy with all of the above. If I only didn't have homework... but then I would not be writing to pass the time I would otherwise have to spend writing (a stinking paper). So when I have walked the dog and cleaned the house, have folded all laundry and baked for hours, what else is there to do but write? It's a good outlet and a good way to realize how great it is to exercise because sitting here is giving me all sorts of pains.

I will come back with more nonsense as soon as my fingers uncramp.

happy aioli!

why I live in this country

Tonight, after talking to my family via Skype in Hungary and cooking a couple of awesome steaks (and leaving them uneaten) I left my backdoor open for doggie-pooh so I could go out for my night training along the intracoastal. As I was running with my Garmin GPS giving me distance and rest time (I was doing mile repeats) I thought about how lucky I was. Not because rain was soaking my tank top and weighing it against my body and not because I was running against 15 mile an hour winds, just because I could do all this! I could cook my steak, use my gadgets, leave my house door open and run along one of the most beautiful sites of the world. Then come home, eat my steak, walk my dog and drink my imported Italian wine. It is these everyday comforts and freedom that are so elementary and make life here so wroth while.

Everything is relative. If in another country, everyday comforts and little perks will mean something totally different. Sometimes that's good. I can also love a little Tuscan country home with its old fashioned plumbing, wholesome foods and bicycles. I could live without the gadgets and technology (and maybe whithout steak) because then other things would be pleasurable. Lot of different things are, in fact, it all depends on where you be (bad grammar on pupose). When I was in the desert, the most precious thing was our short hot showers in running water, and indoor plumbing toilets you could sit on. There was though a common denominator as well, which was running. It always is therapeutic and refreshing, rewarding and cleansing. I think, most of all, I am lucky that I discovered that - thanks to my father - and was able to revive it when I needed it. It's work, it's a challenge, it's a sacrifice; maybe that is exactly why it's so rewarding to me. Because of its "price".

Well, what's your common denominator? What could you take to any part of the world and cherish and use without much preparation? Is it music? Is it writing or reading? Is it praying? There is, there should be something, do you know what it is? Do you know why you are NOT living in another country?

I'm still going to Italy though, even if temporarily, to discover another beauty and maybe find another common denominator. Because I might not be able to run when I am 90...heehee. Maybe I'll paint. I will paint scooters with little puppy faces and church bells... Ok, now that's oxygen deprivation talkin'. Time to go.

revamp the exercise field

There is a general disconnect between all health related sciences and professions, such as medical, rehabilitational, preventive and consulting. A dietitian is not a doctor, a doctor is not a trainer and a trainer, well, a trainer is not much of anything most of the time. A psychiatrist is not likely to tell you to exercise regularly because she may give herself the pink slip. Exercise is THAT GOOD for you. A doctor may tell you to use mismatched weights when exercising unevenly developed sides of your body. A dietitian will not know what to do with an old rotator cuff injury. And that is normal, it's just fine, I mean, can't expect everyone to know everything. So why the exercise field?

Because, a trainer is in a powerful position. He or she has to be a role model and spends a lot of time (most out of the above mentioned professionals) with the client. And frankly, to become a trainer, to obtain a nationally accredited certification along with insurance and CPR is not rocket science. Bam, you're a trainer. In a powerful position. Now, I think that's wrong! Trainer certification I think should include the following and should be made into a bachelors at least: some nutritional and diet principals, some physical rehab and a lot more basic anatomy, some physiology. I know there are bachelor degrees designed with this in mind, but it's not mandatory to have in order to train people. I don't have a bachelor's in exercise science. I was going to get one till I found out I would have to drive to Davie and take day classes, that is the nearest place for it. I wanted to do a dietitian bachelor's instead, but that's down in Miami. I wonder why there is no entity that certifies fitness professionals and health counselors, even masseuse! People listen to other people who are in their lives regularly. Training someone three hours a week is a lot of time that has a "lot of weight ", if you know what I mean. So why so little training needed to be in such a responsible position?? A trainer can make or break a client's success and have huge influence on his or her well being, aside from the training time and the session and the workout program. There is a lot more going on there. It's entirely up to the trainer to research, be inquisitive and conscientious about his or her profession and somehow, gather enough knowledge and expertise to guide the client. I don't know about others, but I do not take this position lightly. I see a big disconnect and a lot of bad advice. It's just hard to try to weed through stuff in the media and in between new fads, while keeping up with the latest scientific discoveries and new concepts. Our bodies are complex organisms (quiet amazing!) and its components cannot be hierarchied or singled out; they must form a perfect mosaic, a pretty picture of kaleidoscope, when working well together. It is difficult to create a balanced, harmonious system that is an efficient machine - no one is that smart or perfect. But we thrive to be, so it's crucial that we can turn to people for advice who will not completely sabotage our goals. That happens more often than not. Plus, who has money to hire all these professionals separately??

So, my point remains: fitness trainers must be trained better, much better, and regulated, almost as in a medical field. I don't know why this is taken so lightly in this lovely establishment of liability and responsibility ditching nation, since the position is a serious one. Maybe some day we'll realize that exercise is reaaaaaally important and it'll gain the corresponding respect and other perks that define a field that deals directly with one's health, and not just physically!

With this I close and wish you all a splendid week!

big day in history

I hope you have voted... and don't go startin' no riots in yo' neighborhoooood!
ya hear? I would stay up to find the winner but instead I will get up before every normal person and check the news then.

And life goes on...
Tomorrow, there will be another sunrise and another present, live it as such!
Happy Wednesday!

who should you listen to for training/weight loss advice?

Maybe not your doctor. That's right, not the doc!
I have seen it repeatedly where doctors give training advice and say, well, not so smart things. They are not physical therapists, not coaches or trainers. They are highly trained professional DOCTORS. I don't try to give you blood pressure medication, right? They do that.
My advice is, find a trainer you know does the right things because he or she looks healthy, works hard and does train as a professional, both self and clients.
Or, ask another professional you trust. For instance, I have a pool of people whom I recommend for others when looking for a nutritionist, a chiropractor, physical therapist, sports medicine, and some other, health related help. I send them elsewhere, but not without knowing that if I needed one of those professionals I would definitely go to one of those guys. So talk to someone whose opinion you respect but only ask what's in the realm of that persons knowledge and take his or her referral. Otherwise you might as well strike up a chat at the check out line in Publix and ask for training advise or how to fix your achy wrist.
Don't be lazy and don't be stupid. If you read headlines in the magazines (that make me really mad and furious, most of the time) you will fail. If you believe infomercials you deserve your failure. The "on sale" sign really just means it's for sale. There is no special deal...

Ps: I am a firm believer of walking the talk. If your psychiatrist is a disheveled basketcase he's is not a good professional and cannot be trusted with advice to others. If your trainer is packing on 15lbs extra and she lives on caffeine and energy bars than why would you listen to anything she tells you? See where this is going? Ok. So there.

And a good professional will not hesitate to give the referral...

ask me

Who was the greatest opera singer ever?

Enrico Caruso and Maria Callas.
At least according to my late father. I cannot argue with him. Why is this important? I am not sure. I am getting very sentimental and starting to idolize my dead father even more now that the memories are fading. I am afraid of being dust already. Without a (my) family I wonder if any of this matters at all, what I do, how I live, where I go, what I buy... Does it?

I am a hermit. I like being home and like spending time with the many, many things with which I can never catch up, such as reading, listening to and playing music, studying, working out and cooking. An old bat. Turning batty...heehee

I strive to make a difference because I want to be noticed (?) I strive to make a difference because I want to have a purpose (?) I strive to make a difference because I am not doing anything else... What the heck?

Ok, you all are witnesses to my soul searching right now, and I know, that no one will, no one should or can answer. I will find the answer because that is also what I do. I find solutions. I am practical and impulsive at the same time. Contained bipolar. From flower to prowler in a heartbeat. I mean, like a puma, OK? Not Chrysler. When I write I get sad and sometimes scared. So I'll finish now to go enjoy the world's greatest chicken soup, to which, incidentally, I have unlimited access!!! Woohooooooo! I do too have a purpose! Death to the chickens!!!

I love animals

I do, more than I love people sometimes. They are innocent, without malice, and as for pets, they are very reflective of our own moods and care for them, and of our love for them.



Some may think that my overly caring attitude is a little flippage and a buggy-old-lady syndrom (there I go again). No, it's just genuine care. If you think about it, there is a little creature, living and breathing, that is completely reliant on his owner's goodwill and character. Why not treat our pets and all animals well? We were that at one time too! We may be that again... But, I REAAAAAAAALY promise not to go religious here. I screwed up with the politics already, I'm keeping the rest out. But I digress...



Truthfully, I think animals deserve the absolute best care, so do plants and anything living that is not able to complain about treatment. Like handicapped people and babies. I think we should be at least kind to all of these creatures and anything living. Anything that doesn't present potential harm to us. Like a spider. A spider deserves marginal kindness. Don't burn it, smush it! A cat also deserves marginal kindness. I mean long ago we have stopped eating catkebobs, now they drink out of our toilets. I'm just kidding, I love kitties!

I think anyone who is unkind or cruel to anything living that is not a danger to, rather a dependent on human compassion should directly go to hell in an express elevator. I believe those are the "ant"people. I, for one, am coming back as a canary and going to sit in a window sill in Tuscany or Sardignia and sing my heart out. Yeah, that would be grand. Sing and fly. Wouldn't it?



Good night, be kind, not just to others but yourself as well.

sunrise

Precious.

The meaning of life, another day, another hope, another challenge, another start.

Unique

Every day, every sunrise is different. Beautiful, everchanging, bright, cloudy, shadowed, subdued, breathtaking.

Unrepudiatable... I just wanted to throw that in there...heeheee

If you can, make sure you look at the sunrise every morning. That is my God... my new energy, my teary smile, my shivering beauty. If you think I'm exaggerating than you haven't looked. I am fortunate to live close to the water and I can see the sun come up over the horizon and change colors in the blink of an eye. It is different every day. Another present - don't squander it!

Happy whatever day it is today!

word of the MONTH

REPUDIATE

By John pout-ie face McCain in his (very) limited vocabulary. Repudiate, repudiated, repudiate. Blah Blah Blah... Tuff turf, going up against a poised, composed and talented Obama. No wonder he was fidgeting the whole time and making faces... he probably went and called daddy after the debate.. no, wait, is he alive still? He would be like a 120 years old, cause McCain is about 90. And just think, if he passes - because his heart cannot handle so much frustration and he does not look like he possesses much physical energy - than we will have a cheerleader with all her babies preaching the bible word for word, as a president. Oh goodie! How wonderful! I'll go stick my head in the sand now...

wake up, people and go vote!

Obama does NOT want a socialist country, he wants a waitress to be able to go see and pay a dentist and anyone who works 3 part time jobs, or is self employed making 35k a year to be able to see a doctor when sick, and save a little money for entrepreneurship or college for their kids. That's all. He does NOT want to take anyone's precious wealth away. Nor does he want to send more troops to die in the freakin' desert and at 10 BILLION DOLLARS a day, nor does he want your raped daughter to carry a pregnancy to term. And he can see the neighbor's garage from his backdoor. McCain doesn't even know what that means, he probably lives on compound of some sort... give me a break! His connection with the real world while in the Airforce ended when he made his confession tape (after 3 days of suffering) so he could be shipped home to daddy admiral. Purple heart? POW? Some people and their actions are an upright mockery of what this country preaches and what it is SUPPOSED to stand for. Honor, freedom of speech, hard work, where do these two fit in? Where? I think it could be Micky Mouse and Betty Boop running for the republicans, as long as they were pumping out the "I'm not going to raise taxes", you would blindly go and vote for them. It could be a mass murderer and a chicken farmer, as long as no danger of dampening my portfolio is promised... Bush hasn't thaught you anything. Life is still good, leave it alone. Well, as Bill Maher said, there is a certain layer of this country that is made up of contemporary progressive people who are well informed, well traveled and are aware of our position and perspective in the global sense and who want to have their voices heard. So...

Not to get political, but pull your heads out of the sand people and go vote for Obama! Your wealth will only stay and grow with you if you do the right thing. You are NOT the only person in the world, without the others you would be nothing...think about it.

A must see for nutrition!

Here's my friend, Leslie's website that you should all check out and at least read its overview. It goes to show you that I am not the only nut preaching hard work and due diligence. Leslie is a great professional who knows how to be a service to her client and not lie and make false promises just to get her fee...
There are people like that, you know!

So, if you are serious about doing something and sustaining results, you got your man here. And she is very nice! LOL.

Go, read! http://nutrition2physician.com/overview.html

about cereals

One thing I want to put out there in the universe, cereals are not real food!!!
Not even Kashi, even though it tastes like cardboard, it is not the best choice for nutrition!
It's better to have a piece of toast with honey, a piece of dark chocolate and some fruit, whole oats (I know, you have to cook them, takes 10 minutes) with milk, or something that was around a 100 years ago. Cereal and bars were not. It is not the best choice. When in doubt, stick to natural. Fruit and protein doesn't come in a tube, sorry guys!
I share the same view, by the way, about dog food.
It's market driven. Dogs are perfectly fine eating wholesome real food diet without the junk,, except that is more time consuming and requires responsible and thoughtful planning. Who's got time for that? Dry dog food is not natural. That's all I have to say. And believe me, I am not the enemy of evolution, we all know who SHE is.
I'm just sayin'...

wasn't sick

No, I wasn't, not with the flu, anyway. I had a severe sinus problem, which in turn created severe throat problems. So I took to the good old fashioned Hungarian remedy of covering my face with a big towel over a steaming bowl of water and something (I used eucalyptus and mint), then gargling with warm salt water and Listerine. I also got antibiotics, not sure why, so I tossed them. I seem to be fine now, with the occasional hacking and throat clearing, but at least I can go for a 6 mile run without the needles in my chest. I so missed running...My back was also getting sore from coughing so much, but I fixed that with a good back workout of lat pulls, rows, pull ups and back extensions.

So, all is better now. I am better now:)

I am also trying very hard not to get "political", and will keep it that way, because sometimes I feel that I don't know enough to talk about it and it's not worth losing friends over. Or readers. So I'll steer clear of that topic. There really isn't anything else I can gripe about so I'll be back later.

Remember EVERY DAY TO:
sing a song (I like doing that while driving and showering)
smile at a stranger
take deep breaths before speaking when upset
treat yourself to something little (LITTLE!)
just be a good person, project positive energy and it'll come back to you
challenge yourself, make an effort

being sick

Well, this flu business is always an issue and it gets everyone, eventually.
Flu has become a business, everyone has to get shots for everything now. I wonder why no one has thought of flu care services, for the poor devils who do end up sick with the stuff. When I say flu I mean it in a collective way, including anything that makes you not want to get out of bed and wish your mommy was there to make you hot tea and soup.

This is my point. Flu services would come in and take care of people who live alone. Or take care of their animals. Get it? Yeah... I am sick. And it already sucks, struggling with the watermelon in my throat, it doubly sucks that I have no mommy to make me feel better and take care of me and let the freakin' dog out. You all know I love her, but she relies on me being there for HER. So sick time sort of interferes with that. I manage to make the world's best tasting chicken soup and ate it for a whole week too. I managed to make hot toddies and started drinking 3 every night... enough of that. I had so much honey that my tears taste sweet now too. So see, it triply sucks to have to be sick, alone, and with a dog to take care.

Anyways, I refuse to give into the shotomatic doctors and will get none of the flu, pneumonia or any other type of shots. I will also stop going around saying "I haven't been sick in years!", because guess what! Then I will get sick. I have got it. So I have to wait years now to start going around and saying that again, anyway!

Shasta doesn't understand. She knows the park is out there waiting for her, the ice cream shop is missing her, and how long has it been since we had some fish and chips together? I suppose it could be worse, I am still alive and able to do everything, just really don't feel like it right now... I could stop whining, but than it would be like I'm not even sick. I am. And feel sorry for me. You know why? Because you might be next. Than you'll understand...unless you have your Mommy....

things shut down...

I have been trying to log in to blogger for the past few days. I don't know what the deal was. First, my computer took a day off, than the internet went with it, after which blogger seemed to be down. So, my new ideas and gripes and events are all stale in my head already and I'm just going to write now because I can.

I got really bad news yesterday about an old friend whom I worked next door to way back when, the kid was ten years younger than I. Really nice boy, we even hung out once or twice. That was at least 10 years ago that I met him. Now he's dead. Got knifed a block away from his home and died in the hospital.........

I am still trying to digest this, he was only 30 and was a sweet, smart kid, trying to make it on his own. Now it's over. Just like that. He was going home... I am so in shock over this, I cannot believe he's gone! So here it goes, Nick: I hope you are at peace with the world now and know that you are missed! Farewell old friend, we will keep your memory! I am sad that you are no longer here, but will always remember your smile...

I will close this post and start anew...

40 years of Violet

Yes, I survived myself. wuh! I should get an award... oh yeah, I'm alive! Need I more?

No, not at all. I am happy to be here. And I would like to thank EVERYONE who took the time and commemorate my 40th birthday, thank you guys, you made my day! I was sad to find that my brothers in Hungary forgot all about me, but that's one of the painful separational sidekicks, so far away in distance, removed from the heart. Well, of course, we love each other, but only when I call home. Anyway...

A special thanks to Tosh and Andrea, they helped me let my hair down (lol), another special thanks to Beverly, who gave me thoughtful little presents and made me feel special, another one to David and Rene who kindly remembered me AND gave me a present also, and also another one to Marius, who still finds kindness for me. It's over, moving on now, kids!

Firstly, I have moved up in the age group to a 40-44 section, who knows, I might even win a few events from now on. I'm going to try one tomorrow. Sick and sweaty, limping with a strained calf muscle and fighting off a cold, I am going to run this 5k and give some registration money to the animals. I will take Shaz to motivate me. I will have to leave her in the car while running so I'm sure I will run as fast as I can to make sure she doesn't suffocate in the locked car at 8 in the morning. I might even run a 10 minute 5k. MIGHT! Or cut the course short. More likely. Will see... I might not be able to breath in the morning. BUT, I'm not going to project negative thoughts, I will be out there for a good cause, and after a long period of not competing. Not that I am at my best now but I need a base line from which to move up.

So here I will close, I missed writing but school is keeping me very busy and I almost dread having to sit at the computer because it's just work anymore... I have lots more to say, perhaps I'll finish in the morning. Till then, I will consult the google and see how what kind of cold home remedies I can find.

Ciao ragazzi,
A dopo

Who is a good trainer?

Me

I am

Beacuse I am hard on excuses

I believe in everyone's ability to change lifestyles and habits

I can find a way to start anyone who is committed and keep them going on their own

Because I am hard on excuses

I already said that

Because I love progress

Because I love to see people happy(r)

And I love me

one solution for eating problems

I figured it out! I got it! It hit me!

I noticed today, that, just like all of the other days, I do not have regular meal times. More precisely, I cannot conform to regular mealtimes because I'm always off and seem to always be eating. I know that my wake up time is a little off the norm but that doesn't mean it's the cause. Let's examine MY eating times. 1st feeding between 5 and 7am. Second feeding between 1000 and 1130. Third feeding between 230 and 330pm. Fourth, and usually last feeding between 6-8pm. The first is a little breakfast, just to break the fast, such as a banana and a chocolate square (yes, I eat chocolate for breakfast), second could be a sandwich, some eggs and bread and fruit, something a little more substantial. The third is like lunch for me, something warm or something with pasta, potato or rice and definitely a meat and veggies and/or fruit. It's not always a warm meal though. The last meal mostly a hot meal, more of the lunch stuff (since I cook for myself and usually eat the same sh.... for several days) or something else, seldom a salad but than it's a big one and one with meat. Oh, and wine. Wine is part of dinner. I tried to make it not to be but why fight the force of nature if it's so hard to do!? So I have a glass of wine. No chocolate or junk food or even fruit, if possible. If I reeeeeeally get the notion to snack, than I take a few nuts or a tiiiiiny bowl of chips. So there.
Bottom line: I eat at least four meals. And you should too!!!!!!!!

I mean, waiting for lunch has always been a nightmare for me; I would be listening to my stomach and try to keep from moving my head too fast because that would make me dizzy, while waiting for lunch time to come. An apple or a a yogurt just doesn't hold up till then. Then, around 330, I'd get the dizzy feeling again and couldn't WAIT to get home to eat. But do I eat dinner at 530? No, I'd probably just skip it and do errands and other stuff, then eat around 7. So more bad hunger and snacking problems here. Do you see this?

It's so simple, snacking between meals is not necessary, really, what's necessary is making your 3 meals into 4 and spread them evenly throughout the day. I challenge you to try it. So that society is not set up like this, who cares?? Last time I checked, in this great free country of the good Christians and the Palin-like anti-evolutionaries, one can still eat whenever one wants to. Put yourself first and try this out for your own sake. Who knows, maybe we can start a nutritional revolution and the first step will be to have 4 meals instead of 3. This would alone solve so many of your problems, I swear! Why not try?

It's working for me swell! And I don't get the loud stomach-dizzy head-syndrome...

obesity is the only way

I want you to read this with an open mind. This is not an America bashing piece, but it is an observation or a critical analogy of why obesity is such an issue here.

Everyone from birth is set up for failure. So to speak. Is set up for fatness. The mothers barely have time to breast feed and make other simple baby foods. Toddlers are definitely pawned off in day care and already set up to watch tv, and do activities other than physical or partner involved, because WHO HAS TIME AND PATIENCE FOR THAT? Than the early school years. What does a PE class consist of? Any real activity? Any games? Anything that is measured or tested as a physical performance? Some, but very little. Here I go with the "in my country", but seriously, in my country we changed clothes for PE and changed back after PE and the whole time it was go go go! Almost every day we had a PE class. Sometimes first thing in the morning and sometimes in the middle of the day, or at the end of the day. Then in grades 5-8 we got serious. It is true thatI went to a special sports performance and math oriented school but even in the average schools everyone had PE classes where different events were measured and had to be passed. One could repeat a year if those standards weren't met. We had one chubby kid in our class who was a wrestler and had to struggle through even gymnastics to make the class. And he did. Here? I ask again, what is a PE class? Go out in the courtyard, beat each other up, get a little dirt under your nails, what? Do they go to the track? Do they use medicine balls? Do they climb walls and ropes? Do they have mat exercises and group competitions? Do they learn different sports, or about sports in general? I dunno. I hear not. So then we get to high school. It's more important to have a Louis Vuitton purse than to know what a pentathlon is. Or how much time does it take to run a 400m. What? Yes. High school is serious about sports because the student has to get seriously into studying and have more commitments and a much bigger load in general.

So what is the one thing that builds cohesion, pride, a sense of achievement, discipline, helps with brain efficiency and performance, attention, energy to stay up, sleep better, feel stronger, look better, develop better eating habits and get used to diligence in training and working, I ask you: WHAT IS THAT ONE THING? The one thing that everyone dismisses from early years. Is it a drug? No. It is sports. Physical activity. And why is this a secret, why something so simple is not implemented. Do you know why? Because it's not a great "business" and it's not budgeted. Why is it not budgeted? Because it's not deemed important. It's important for the better-off parents to drive the little brats around to socker practice and cheer leading. But only the better-off parents. The others have to work and have no money to spare as an extra expense for sports. They need tutoring and clothes and gas money.

Then the child becomes an adult. If, at this point, he had no introduction to sports, no concept of physical training, how on Earth is he supposed to be healthy?????? HOW? To eat not processed foods takes time and money. To work out without knowing splat about working out takes money. Where is that supposed to come from? WE establish a pattern for irresponsible behavior than go around signing up people to unlearn that and become something else. It is EXTREMELY difficult! I cannot even blame obese people, or look at them with contempt because they fell into this consumer society's trap. You are a good consumer, you buy tvs and video games, you buy snacks and frozen meals, you get entertained at the movies sitting on your a..., you watch some more shows at home, you get a big car that takes you everywhere and then, when you're sick of looking at yourself in the mirror: hire a trainer or get a gym membership and go to classes to reform yourself. Then you buy supplements, products that do more harm than good, and more consumptions on top of more consumption. You have to keep businesses alive by buying sh... Going outside and walking or using the heart trail in the park will not boost business. Not enough. So there. You have to swim against the current to be a fish that lives and lives well. It is very difficult.

One thing we can all do, teach children to love sports and find something they are good at and encourage them never stop doing it. Fight for better programs in schools for all ages. Take a little extra times and cook meals, buy fresh and eat more unprocessed foods. Limit your tv time and find other activities for entertainment. Hang on to the simple things, teach the kids to appreciate what's around them, rather than what they can GET. Be outside as more. Slow down. Make my new slogan yours: "Slow down, for less is more!"

sentimental

Hello again, it's been a while since I wrote: not that I haven't thought about it, just didn't do it. Lately I've been thinking about how great it is to be here on this Earth and how many wonderful things we get to experience on this journey. It all disappears into the daily grind and the self absorbed superficial human mind, but every now and then it's good to stop and reflect on some of life's presents that we receive without much notice. I am not going to get evangelical on you(z), just want to say something about aging and how I feel about it, to maybe wake up the deeper self in you too.

I will be foaty soon and never before had I felt the need to think and feel and live so much as I do now, I wonder why!? I am not dying, not going anywhere, really (well, not right now), but I am by myself and in peace with the world. When I'm not driving... But seriously, I have been given the opportunity to just be and feel right now. So that's what I'm doing. The stupid statement people say that they don't regret anything, well, I do! I regret not treating people better, I regret not treating myself better and I regret now slowing down and listening to my conscience more. The rest I cannot regret, otherwise I wouldn't be here, this person who is regretting things. I would not be this person.

But because I am this person and I am very capable of learning and growing at light speed, I am now big enough to recognize some things and take it all with a grain of salt. I do regret causing pain, I do regret being angry and I do regret being weak minded sometimes.

On the other hand (so this post doesn't turn into a sob story), I have to announce that I am so very thankful for everyone in my life and everyone who ever have crossed my life, because they are all somehow a little part of me. I am thankful for my parents and my brain and physical attributes; I think I got a pretty good hand of cards to play. But, as it turns out, I only like to play poker wehre there may be a lot hinging on a facial expression and a lot of ways to gamble away your loot sometimes. There has been. Now I'm crazy with a purpose...heehee. Yeah, times are changing, I am nutty with a mission, loony with reason, and refined as fish oil... what? Never mind. I hope you can, some day, find your peace and look at every day as a priceless treasure, and try to make tomorrow better for someone other than yourself. So Happy Sunday:)

to be a leader

To be a leader you have to live what you preach. You have to be the best and most consistent. You have to be solid and humble. You have to be approachable, attentive and assertive. You have to be tactful and patient. Most of all, you have to be inspiring by being kind and being helpful. Then people will not only look to you for answers but will strive to be more like you, will strive to "please" you with their achievements.

A leader is not a dictator, an impostor or a a person who cannot embrace his/her own shortcomings or not recognize them and make allowances for them. A leader will always strive for improvement and value the interest of others'. A leader is to be followed, it's a heavy, heavy task! So don't call yourself a leader if you are lacking basic values and or self esteem. You cannot yell your way through a battle, you have to fight yourself and have the men proudly and eagerly follow you into the fight. A good leader is not a perfect person but learns from others and, as said earlier, strives to improve. No one is perfect. The question is though, how much imperfection are you willing to overlook, how much is important and what do you deem dismissible? How strong are you to get up when wounded and keep your warface on through trying times? How do you deal with your own inside battles and how many losses can you take without falling?

Are you a good leader? You don't have to be. But pick someone who is. The rest is unimportant. There will be people around you who are just casualties. Don't try to follow them! Pick your leader well or be one yourself. Either way, keep on fighting, it's never over!

Stay strong in heart and spirit, be kind and keep on sweating!

where I get my inspiration

I have one group of people with whom I work twice a week and do a short musical workout session. Few of them walk, none without crutches or a walker. They all have huge physical and/or psychological challenges. The kind that would devastate any one of us average people. I was very choked up and scared when I first saw them. I thought I would be working with a group of people who were not necessarily medically, but financially challenged and fighting their way to make a better life for themselves. I thought I could bring some regularity and some accomplishment to them by providing a positive environment where they are truly making progress and enjoy the process. I thought I could strenghten their motivation and cohesion and all of the other good values that exercise and good mentorship offers to all.

Well, it turns out that they have provided a challenge to me and have given me the most fulfilling two half hours a week that I have ever had! I look forward to going there and seeing them. I look forward to playing our music and seeing smiles and fatigue and more smiles. I always wish there was more I could do for them and for more than just this group. They know they can count on me to be there and to be energetic and entertaining. They know it's going to be a bit of hard work and they get each other to come to the sessions even if there are other things going on or they have to be a little late. There is no pressure, no judgement, no negativity of any kind during our workouts. People stop and look in to see what the commotion is about. Staff comes in and starts dancing around or doing our exercises for a minute or two. They sometimes recognize me in the supermarket or outside the institution and make sure they greet me and play me a complement about how much my program is enjoyed and appreciated.

Program. ? . I am just there. Just there to soak up their spiritual strenght that makes me tear up as I leave. I am just there because I know they like me there and I am never ill received or dismissed. I am just there because it makes ME a better person, a stronger person, a more humble human being. I am just there... and I love it!

olympic update

Michael Phelps turned into a computer virus. It's everywhere. Beach volleyball is just phenomenal, I cannot get enough! And who cares who's running in the other lanes on the track?
Redcliff, bunked bad... it was painful just to watch her. Poor little skeleton woman. Put some muscle on your bones.
On the positive side, it's really good to see mothers, young and middle age, to be top competitors! Even in their 40s! Go GIRLS!
Now, we will have some coverage of the track events, at least the ones the American athletes compete in. Don't you think it's a kind of censorship to be so freakin patriotic that we forget what the event is all about and don't allow the public a chance to get acquainted with the true magnitude of the games? It's NOT always about America, it's not, or is it? OK, I'll stop. I don't much care for the superpower mentality. And give that kid Phelps a chance to breath.

sunday list

Since it's Sunday, I will write a list for which I am thankful today. Here it goes:
I am thankful for all of the people in my life, they've all enriched this experience, called "life".
I am thankful for my ever so loyal puppy, Shasta, for she has cheered me up today and has given me many licks and tail wags (and a yellow spot on the bathroom floor). I am thankful for understanding music and culture. I am thankful for living in beautiful Florida and being so close to the ocean. I am thankful for a restful day and a reflection on self. I am thankful to know I have a plan, a dream to fulfil and am moving towards it. Have a great week!

olympics

oh, goodie!

The games are on!!

now I get to watch more.....()*^&*(^%& basketball!!!!!!!!!
What is wrong with this country anyway? Could the Olympics be covered with SOME track and field and less biography and shorts down to ankles and fat girls playing volleyball....seriously!
Would it be so terrible to expose the people of the Americas to some sport where your shorts do end above your knees and your underpants are not hanging out at the waist? Do people know what javelin and discus is? Pole vaulting and steeplechase? The classic events; the ones that OTHER countries compete in and win occasionally too!

Oh hell, it's not really a surprise, I mean what sells viewership? Pole vaulting or beach volleyball...hmm? I went through this agony before, the major networks cover sh..., go America! I'll get on the internets and see what the rest of the world sees. I am sad to say, that the Olympics have probably never been covered adequately from here, as much air time as it is devoted to the "show" here, it's all it is: a show. Thank you for the lenghty biographies and the heart wrenching stories of how hard the poor US athletes train in their poorly equipped facilities managing their daily hardships. Who would've thought anyway, that to be a top athlete one has to train..., like, a lot! Thank God they have shoes and swimming pools and heart rate monitors! And not only by technological and economical and geographical advantage, but by gosh, hard work and steroids, the US athletes manage to bring home most medals by country in the overall games. You know what? The US is taking the spirit out of the games. Moves in and takes over. Screw everyone else. WE are special. We will walk down behind our flag, blue tooth in the ear and talking on the *(^&&(%% cell phones while other countries had to COLLECT money for their hand full of actual athletes to travel to China. I hate this cockiness and ME ME MEEEEE attitude. I will stop here to avoid some negativity that is about to spew out of me, since I am "only" a naturalized citizen. Are you proud to be an American, all of the time??

Makes me sick... go Kenyans!

truth about fat burning zones

Fact 1: The cardio machine manufacturers have come up with the "fat burning zone" and "calories burned" to market their equipment and make it attractive and easy for people to use, just like every other great invention of mankind that claims to slim and tone you without having to expend the necessary effort. All of the infomercials and supermarket magazines lie, all of them! If you are looking for a shortcut you are setting yourself up for failure and will never see results. Aside from the treadmill, ellipticals, stationary bikes, and any other cardio machines are mostly over calibrated, some as much as 25%-30%. They don't ask your age, resting metabolic rate, sex or anything, but they give you a "value" for calories burned. HHHHHHmm. They're either very intelligent machines or marketed falsely. You guess!

Fact 2: The fat burning zone is one where you are working at a lower output rate (less effort, less taxing) but are in a higher fat to carb ratio, meaning, more of your energy comes from burning fat than burning carbs. I will NOW reveal the trick to it all: if you are working harder and your total output is much higher, even at a less favorable ratio you are burning more TOTAL fat (and total calories) than at a lower effort. Let me explain it again: say you are working in your "fat burning zone": that is 70% of your heart rate, that burns 600 calories per hr. Your fat burning zone's ratio will burn 40% fat of 600. That's 240 "FAT" calories. OR, you put some real effort into your workout and do some high intensity interval training with short bursts of taxing intervals such as hills and/or sprints, the kind of workout that burns 900 calories per hr and gets your heart pumping at 85% MHR. Your fat burning is not optimal (as far as a ratio) but at 30%, you are still burning 270 "FAT" calories.

Say that you have worked for a half an hour in your fat burning zone (I'm sick of writing this already) than you got a 300 total calorie negative with 240 of those from your fat a... Say that you have worked ABOVE your fat burning zone for half an hour than you get a total of 450 negative cals with 270 of those from your fat a...Well, which is more?

Fact 3: If your goal is to burn a certain amount of calories, doing high intensity interval training will be more effective (faster) hence cutting your workout time.

A good general rule for judging where the heck you are: if you are panting and gasping for air and dripping sweat you are NOT in your "fat burning zone" but you are smart and are working hard. If you are reading a novel and chatting with your neighbor you are both in your comfort zones and are the average gym goers who will never shed a pound. But you are in the "zzzzzone"... the stupid, lazy, unproductive one... at the end of the day it all depends on one thing. Where do you want to be, what is your goal? If it is to make friends and socialize than who am I to judge? This blog is not for those though:) tah-tah

these will move you

Two things from my previous Sunday evening tv watching. Some of you might have seen these. You will know what I meant by "move".

The first is the Venezuelan National Orchestra, and the power of classical music and the power of human compassion and perseverance. This musical group is comprised of children from the slums (starting at age 2) and is (now) sponsored by the government, organized by one man, and admired by many, all over the world. This doctor who started the group in the 1970s has built a huge orchestra of energetic (and desperate) children who start playing an instrument as early as age 4. They grow up in poverty, in REAL poverty (the kind we have no clue about) and some of them are from gangs with little hope to reform and become something in their violent, and pitiful world. They play with such vehemence, as if to cry their escape or salvation from the nothingness in which they were born. One can only understand this if experienced or at least has seen the lives of these people. It's barely human... music, however, is passionate, sad, happy, cheerful and energetic, it is without borders and boundaries and limits and restrictions. It is mastering emotions and sending them off through one's fingertips and delivering it to the world in a harmonized sound. Music is power and this power has been given to these kids by one man, whose dream is now a multibillion dollar project, self supportive and widely successful! They have become the symbol of hope and the tiny bright light in their dark alleys. They recruit and teach their kids and make some of their own instruments. They give hope and life back to the destitute. They are real heroes.

The second one is one hopeless man who found, rather, created hope for all man kind. John Kanzius, indeed. Just read about him and judge for yourself: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/04/10/60minutes/main4006951.shtml

shasta notes

I was at a TRX workshop (which I absolutely loved, by the way) this weekend so I asked a friend to come and look in on my puppy and take her for a walk a few times. While she gladly accepted she also wrote this this little story that made me smile and appreciate her even more (my friend, that is). I thought I'd share it with the world because it's so adorable. Please read on....

"Sunday, July 13 - Mom is gone. Slept peacefully until about 11 am when this loud, blond woman showed up and started calling my name. I thought I was pretty well hidden but she found me in the computer room closet. I knew it was rainy and wet so I ignored her and refused to get up. I guess the rain let up later because she came in, scooped me up and made me put on my "bra". I decided that a walk did sound like a pretty good idea. We headed to Olive. It was sprinkling a little but nice and cool I found a good place to pee at the corner. Then we headed south on Olive. About halfway down the block I paused to do some serious sniffing and found the perfect place to poop. It took that woman FOREVER to untie the bag from the handle of the leash! You would have thought I had invented the cure for cancer the way she bragged on me!! I convinced her that saving the bag in the refrigerator for mommy to see later was NOT a good idea. She put it in the trash later...One more pee stop, then we went back home. I thought for sure mommy would be there. I looked for her but she wasn't there. Oh well, I went back to sleep. It apparently rained the rest of the afternoon. Around 4pm that woman showed up again. She caught me in the living room, where I was waiting for mom. The rain FINALLY let up and I was ready to go for a walk. I gladly put on my bra and hopped out the door. There were a couple of good pee stops and I saw a cat down the street. I told her who was QUEEN and ran her off! Now I am snugly warm on the funny white pillow. I can see the door. Maybe I will sleep a little. Hopefully, the next voice I hear will be my mommy home at last!"

why I say no to sugar free

Please read this! I am copying straight from my certifying entity's, NCSF's newsletter. When I talk about it, it doesn't sound so scientific, but I am serious about my core beliefs and this is just a little proof that maybe sometimes the mad Hungarian is right... check it out:

"Individuals on diets tend to rely on flavored non-caloric soft drinks and beverages as an integral part of their meal plans. Foregoing calories from beverages without giving up taste is a luxury offered in thanks to the development of today’s non-caloric artificial sweeteners. However, recent studies seem to indicate that the artificial sweeteners used in these drinks may possibly have the opposite effect of what was intended when a person incorporates these non-caloric items into his or her diet. The body has a regulatory system in place that, in theory, allows it to anticipate the intake of additional calories related to the sweetness of a food. This trait is believed to be developed early in life, when animals and babies associate breast milk with nourishment. If the anticipated calories do not appear, however, the body’s caloric intake regulation becomes altered to account for the absence of the perceived energy. This action possibly leads to an overall increase of calories. When the adjustment to correct the caloric intake drives a person to consume more calories, the intake can lead to a positive energy balance and potential obesity over the long term.
Researchers theorized that compensatory eating in response to adjustments in the brain mechanism would occur when rats were fed yogurt sweetened with saccharin. The researchers performed three interrelated experiments on different groups of rats. In the first experiment, the researchers fed the rats yogurt along with their regular meals for six days of each week for five weeks. On three of the six days, the sweet-predictive group was fed plain, unsweetened yogurt; the other three days the rats received a yogurt sweetened with glucose. The second group also received plain, unsweetened yogurt three days out of six; on the other days, they ate yogurt sweetened with saccharin. The control group ate glucose-sweetened yogurt only on the days the rats who were assigned to the artificial sugar group received their saccharin-sweetened yogurt. The researchers measured the weight gain at the end of five weeks and found that even though the sweet-predictive group took in 58 additional calories per week, the rats that ate the saccharin-sweetened yogurt gained the most fat weight throughout the five weeks.
Research has also demonstrated that the body has an innate ability to compensate for increased caloric intake by reducing caloric intake later. Researchers looked at this link and attempted to establish a further connection between the real and artificial sugars and the body’s caloric compensation mechanisms. This time the researchers used a 14-day window and employed the same yogurt diets. At the end of the 14 day yogurt diet, the accompanying rat food was removed overnight. The next morning, half the rats in each group were offered a pre-meal chocolate drink that was left out for half an hour before the rat food was returned to all the rats. Again, the rats fed the yogurt sweetened with saccharin consumed the most calories. Also, the rats ingesting the saccharin-sweetened yogurt gained significantly more weight than either the control group or the glucose-sweetened yogurt group. Most significant to this experiment, the rats fed the glucose-sweetened yogurt ate significantly less rat chow on the days they were fed the pre-meal chocolate drink than on the days they did not receive a pre-meal shake; the non-predictive rats fed the saccharin-flavored yogurt did not show such negative caloric compensations. They consumed essentially the same amount of rat food regardless of whether they received the pre-meal shake or not.
Lastly, the researchers examined the theory that a thermogenic response to the taste of sweetened foods would evoke a higher core body temperature, and thus a slightly higher rate of caloric burn, in the rats already familiar with the glucose-sweetened yogurt than the rats not exposed to the glucose-sweetened food. The rats were first implanted with remote-operated transmitters that monitored core body temperature; they were then fed in a manner identical to that of the second experiment. The core temperatures of the rats were affected by the time of the testing, the type of yogurt the rat consumed and whether or not the rat drank the pre-meal shake in conjunction with the saccharin-sweetened yogurt or the glucose-sweetened yogurt. The sweet-predictive rats showed the greatest increases in core body temperature when they were fed the sweetened yogurt as opposed to the plain yogurt, while the non-predictive group showed very little change in body temperature -- only the last test taken an hour after the yogurt was eaten showed a slight increase. The results were similar when testing was performed in conjunction with the pre-meal chocolate drink.
The results of this study seem to indicate a plausible and interesting link between non-caloric, artificial sweeteners, positive caloric balance and weight gain. In each experiment, the rats fed the saccharin-sweetened yogurt ultimately consumed more calories, gained the most body weight and increased body fat. Additionally those same rats showed the lowest thermogenic response to feeding and failed to regulate their caloric intake to compensate for the additional calories in the pre-meal drink like the other rat groups. This link parallels the apparent relationship between the increased use of non-caloric sugar substitutes and the increasing rate of obesity in the country over the past eight years. While sugar substitutes have long been recommended as one way for dieters to reduce calories, this study seems to indicate that the artificial sugars may in fact add a possible hindrance to efforts to reduce one’s weight. It should be noted that humans have cognitive control to mediate internal drive and can regulate actions using psychological controls. Unlike humans, rats simply follow physiological drive with no cognitive, emotional, or psychological association between their food intake and the decisions they make regarding food choices or total calories consumed. Even if the human body mirrors the physiological mechanisms of rats and increase its desire for calories when artificial sweeteners are used, there are certainly still arguments that the zero calorie foods are useful in maintaining lower caloric intakes. More research is certainly needed before switching back to high calorie beverages containing sucrose and high fructose corn syrup. It is still likely beneficial to consume a diet beverage and a turkey sandwich with low calorie, high fiber bread, than a regular sugar-rich cola."

at the end of the day - about life

What is this all about? What does everyone want, at the end of the day? I'll tell you: to be loved. To have affection and human touch, and have some to love. Fat, skinny, blue, white and yellow, we all want some affection. But also, at the end of the day we must ask: is it worth denying self, is it worth the sacrifice, the hardship, the friction and the sadness? I answered this myself and now I am alone. And I can tell you this much; loneliness is painful and it takes a lot of fish oil to keep smiling. But at the end of the day I know that I like myself and I like who I am. I cherish everything I have and everyone I know. It's all precious and I am fortunate to have this all. But at the end of day it's sad to be alone and it physically hurts sometime.
So how important is it? Is it worth the pain?
I am not sure...