sentimental

Hello again, it's been a while since I wrote: not that I haven't thought about it, just didn't do it. Lately I've been thinking about how great it is to be here on this Earth and how many wonderful things we get to experience on this journey. It all disappears into the daily grind and the self absorbed superficial human mind, but every now and then it's good to stop and reflect on some of life's presents that we receive without much notice. I am not going to get evangelical on you(z), just want to say something about aging and how I feel about it, to maybe wake up the deeper self in you too.

I will be foaty soon and never before had I felt the need to think and feel and live so much as I do now, I wonder why!? I am not dying, not going anywhere, really (well, not right now), but I am by myself and in peace with the world. When I'm not driving... But seriously, I have been given the opportunity to just be and feel right now. So that's what I'm doing. The stupid statement people say that they don't regret anything, well, I do! I regret not treating people better, I regret not treating myself better and I regret now slowing down and listening to my conscience more. The rest I cannot regret, otherwise I wouldn't be here, this person who is regretting things. I would not be this person.

But because I am this person and I am very capable of learning and growing at light speed, I am now big enough to recognize some things and take it all with a grain of salt. I do regret causing pain, I do regret being angry and I do regret being weak minded sometimes.

On the other hand (so this post doesn't turn into a sob story), I have to announce that I am so very thankful for everyone in my life and everyone who ever have crossed my life, because they are all somehow a little part of me. I am thankful for my parents and my brain and physical attributes; I think I got a pretty good hand of cards to play. But, as it turns out, I only like to play poker wehre there may be a lot hinging on a facial expression and a lot of ways to gamble away your loot sometimes. There has been. Now I'm crazy with a purpose...heehee. Yeah, times are changing, I am nutty with a mission, loony with reason, and refined as fish oil... what? Never mind. I hope you can, some day, find your peace and look at every day as a priceless treasure, and try to make tomorrow better for someone other than yourself. So Happy Sunday:)