christmas

Well, another has come and gone...
this year it was special...
no snow, no tree, no family around me, BUT! I had a wonderful Christmas experience.
I had clients who had shown extreme generosity and (I'd like to think) expressed their deep appreciation of me which made me feel on top of the world. I also had the opportunity to bring a little smile to the people I care most about. In addition, Shasta had passed her blood test with flying colors and got excellent report about her health and organ functions. Plus, I again reconnected with friends whom I had long lost and whom I cherish still today. This all came after my semester closing of four A's, which put me on the honor's list at FAU. Whoohoooooo!
I feel great and love my life today. I look forward to the sunrise tomorrow and running into the sunset in the evening. In between, I will soak up my puppy's undying love and affection and the fulfillment of my "work".
I tell you, this IS my bucket list. I am living it, every day. For if I die tomorrow, I will not think of why I haven't learned to fly a helicopter or had gone hang gliding, but I will think of the many sunsets over the water and the slow walks with Shasta, my clients beaming face in exhaustion, my medals hanging on the wall, the feel of a hot shower after a bone breaking long run, and the taste of a good wine (Barefoot Shiraz, $5.99 at Publix) on my cushy red couch. I will not think of places I haven't seen and books I haven't read, love I didn't make and children I didn't raise. I will think of the many special people in my life, my triumphs and my contributions, and who I am as a whole, good and bad, strong and beautiful. This is my bucket list...
But, I am not ready to check out, because my personality dictates that I will look for improvements and challenges to come. This is my strenght and my downfall. This makes me better with age, but restless in everyday life. I cannot keep an intimate relationship because I dread the usual and will always look for something better. I am stuck in eternal dissatisfaction IF I stick with a mate. So there. My bucket list ends with someone as unsettled as I. someone I can love for his craziness and personal quest to find balance that doesn't exist. Hm.. can't win every battle, but I will love the fight and embrace the war.

Peace to all, and love who you are (no matter what your psychiatrist tells you...)

What? Did I title this Christmas? Oh well...Christ is in here somewhere...