the year in review

Ph! What a trying first 4 months these were!!

I have made it... And I sense a change in the winds for the upcoming months. I will take the summer to reevaluate and rediscover life, slowly and sweetly. In retrospect, the year has had nothing but trials for me so far but I really feel I can breath easily and I really feel I have accomplished a lot without losing focus.
Focus on what, you ask. Focus on not focusing on unimportant things. And what would those be, you ask. Pretty much everything we "think" is so important.
Just to keep it brief, I'll give you a quick rundown.
Important: love, respect for life, respect for self, positive outlook, help and consideration for others, being able to live with all your decisions, moving forward, finding solitude, all things beautiful (colors, sounds, living things, literature)

Unimportant: money, things you own, credit or the lack of (credit rating??? arbitraty...), things you collect, clothes, cars, how many places ahead you get between traffic lights, who made your shoes, etc.

But, that is not the title of my post, so I shall post something that accounts for my hardship for the past four months. Those were, in order:
a (short) notice to move due to short sale
a notice to ship out to Afghanistan with the Army
a knee injury
a move (and midterm)
dog got INFESTED with flees (in a house we looked at as potential residence) car died (and got half-assed fixed for a lot of money)
latissimus injury (and finals, with the last week of school missed because I couldn't drive, couldn't sleep, and didn't eat because I had PAINKILLERS in my tummy!!)

BUT! I have also had some heartwarming heat flashes of being overwhelmed by emotions due to some of the following.

Having talked to my nephews and my brother via Skype video;
Having talked to my Hungarian ex, with whom I came here and actually being able to be friends
Having seen my teen idol band's lead singer LIVE in concert in my Klub, 3 feet away from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Having talked to another ex who was very dear to me but almost cost me my life (and his as well), and knowing that he is doing OK.
Sitting through Rigoletto (and "hearing"my father singing those arias when I was little)
Reuniting with a dear dear classmate from Hungary from (I don't' know) xyz Conhead years ago
Attending an appreciation lunch at the center where I volunteer

and these are just a few... I sometimes tear up watching a puppet show on the street (childhood memories??) or seeing a woman feeding her baby ice cream (lost love, lost life(s)), and all sorts of other, hormonal and emotional outbursts.

Now I feel like I have grown up 20 years worth in 4 months. Probably because I am fighting alone and I appreciate more of the everyday pleasures and little wonders around me. I love my plants in my apartment, love to watch them grow. I gather the lost lizards and bugs and dragon flies and carry them outside my door. I marvel at the breeze that comes off the water as I am sitting in the park with my precious puppy in my lap. I inhale the sweetness of the blooming gardenias on my long runs. I speed down the freeway to turn my last paper in as the wind whips through my open windows and sunroof in the cool spring afternoon. I watch the sunrise and feel a rush of gratitude flood over me to have another day in which I can fight and save my critters and watch the skies and breath the breeze and taste the scent of flowers and feel Shasta's heartbeat as she lay in my lap...
life is good... for me, and for us... and even for the Hottentots who sleep with their heads propped up on one arm,on the ground so the bugs don't crawl in their ears. We are all alive...THAT alone is precious... don't squander it.

Good night Palm Beach!