Is awful. The realization of emptiness hits me square in the chest and the tears just start pouring out.
Where is my fluffy puppy? Where is the little bundle of warmth on my chest?
It's gone. Stone fills the place of warmth, stone that's sits in my chest and crackles with the pain of loss. I made her go away and I put that stone in there.
Her warm brown eyes won't look up at me, she won't settle across my shoulder and under my chin, and I can't put my face on her tiny head. She won't nestle next to me and I won't see her wobble down the street looking for a potty spot. Her things are all picked up and are thrown into the spare room, a bed left out here and there (as she had so many), pieces of her hair locked in a plastic bag. Her medicines, shampoos, treats - out of sight. Herself, out of sight.
It hurts so much to wake up without her, it hurts like breaking stone with a sledgehammer on my chest.
I'm going to build her stone garden over the grave and speckle it with beautfiul flowers. I will build this and weep.
Will this ever end?
I understand that I will not have her bodily presence with me ever again. I do.
I understand that her memories I should keep, and those should keep my heart warm.
But right now that heart is trying to stay a stone, but its hardness is no protection at all, no, it's condensed pain, it's grief, and it hurts.
I miss my fluffy angel, I miss you POOH!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Dear Shastapooh
Last night in the torrential rain I stood and felt your letting go. I felt you and I felt sad but energized. After I soaked myself I came inside and let the black cat in. He was happy and kept looking around and sniffing. I was sniffing too. I even had my face down on the carpet, where your dishes used to sit and where you have peed, looking for your scent. It was barely there.
Then we watched tv and I went to bed to read and fall asleep around 1030. And sleep I did, through the night, till I had to get up to pee, waking from an eventful silly dream. I didn't want to look at the clock like I used to do, in fear of knowing how early it was and realizing how tired I was, but it wasn't late at all, it was early.
I know this because when I laid back down I got that clamp down on my chest of missing you and feeling your void. I must have woken the cat who knocked something over which made me get up, let him out, and look at the clock. It was 4:53. So I slept so long and hated waking, hated the clenching feeling of emptiness, trying to make myself pick up the silly thread of my earier dream. It didn't come and I was up.
I know you just went to sleep but your warmth, that missing warmth left such cold and heaviness that it hurts, physically hurts!
I miss you my dear pet, I miss your breathing, your softness, your little moans and groans, I miss and miss all of you!
It is good to write...
I'm off to work but after I plan on working on your garden over where your tiny body lays, making a beautiful sanctuary for your memory.
Jason will help and we will make it just like you: magnetic with beauty and life.
You are in the air,
You are everywhere,
You are everywhere.
Then we watched tv and I went to bed to read and fall asleep around 1030. And sleep I did, through the night, till I had to get up to pee, waking from an eventful silly dream. I didn't want to look at the clock like I used to do, in fear of knowing how early it was and realizing how tired I was, but it wasn't late at all, it was early.
I know this because when I laid back down I got that clamp down on my chest of missing you and feeling your void. I must have woken the cat who knocked something over which made me get up, let him out, and look at the clock. It was 4:53. So I slept so long and hated waking, hated the clenching feeling of emptiness, trying to make myself pick up the silly thread of my earier dream. It didn't come and I was up.
I know you just went to sleep but your warmth, that missing warmth left such cold and heaviness that it hurts, physically hurts!
I miss you my dear pet, I miss your breathing, your softness, your little moans and groans, I miss and miss all of you!
It is good to write...
I'm off to work but after I plan on working on your garden over where your tiny body lays, making a beautiful sanctuary for your memory.
Jason will help and we will make it just like you: magnetic with beauty and life.
You are in the air,
You are everywhere,
You are everywhere.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Letting Shasta go
My most painful duty, my most hurtful time of writing, my most horrible life event, my letting go of Shasta.
It was the weekend and she has had a peaceful night, the one before, so I was not filled with sorrow and worry about her tiny, warm existence that has seemed to have taken on a bitter quality when fighting for respite. Relief from the tiny coughs that almost seemed dainty, had I not known they meant her heart was working in futility; relief from the urge to empty her bladder but not wanting because it was painful, doing her endless, wobbly laps in the grass, on the pavement, tripping and swaying as her hind legs gave out and she pulled her tail down tight for protection.
Protection. I could not give. Relief I could not give. Cure that was not.
Countless intervals of comforting, holding, crying, singing softly, stroking her soft hair, cuddling her tiny, fragile, warm body, listening to hopeless whimpers, wanting to make it all go away and just keep the warmth and softness of her precious being.
Then Saturday came and the cycle started again: coughs, pee urges and fruitless circles, cradling her and giving her medication after medication. I kept to this cycle and helplessly followed her every sigh and cough. I gave her anything she wanted to eat, just eat! And she did...
During the night no respite came, just more intervals, going to the backyard for a quick pee, lapping up some water and taking the heart medication so she can lay down and breathe herself to sleep. I nestled her next to me, as always, but anxiously watched and waited for the next episode. All I wanted was rest, both for her and me.
I was worn out for months now, and come Saturday I started thinking about the end. The end to the cyles, intervals, episodes, painful tries and cries, envisioning the whole process of putting her to sleep. I felt disgustingly selfish and guilty, but I still saw the relief at the end. I cried but I stopped myself because I knew I was only preparing for something she would not be part of, the chilling cold and dark her missing presence will leave with me. I stopped because I wanted to be good to her, to cuddle and love and care for her while she was here. I sang the "You are my sunshine, My only sunshine..." song to her every night, sobbing into her soft hair, feeling her little heartbeats ease and her body relax in my arms, the rhythm and resonance of my shrieking pain lulling her to sleep. I felt awful and awful and awful but was so thankful for having her in my arm, across my chest, heartbeat to heartbeat.
Sunday came and I watched, heartbroken, frustrated and angry, how she couldn't get better, couldn't get relief, couldn't stop coughing, couldn't go pee-pee, couldn't just enjoy the wind in her face as she always used to do. I set my stone heart to make the call.
I was amazed at how diplomatic and efficient I was tracking down a house call vet and leaving a message requesting euthanasia, that day, if possible! MONSTER! MONSTER I am, I thought.
Monday afternoon she needed more pain medicine and after having taken it she deflated on my chest, as I sleepily held her in place, right over my heart as always, the fan blowing on her nosey. We went to sleep. Blessed afternoon nap. Like we used to do. Her and I on the big red couch, curtains and blinds drawn, fan air whipping, fluffy cover over us, spoon in spoon.
She died on that red couch, in the opposite corner, six o'clock that evening. I went to Wendy's for a double bacon cheese burger and chicken fingers, gave her a bowl of food she inhaled with gusto, drank lots of water and had an unsuccessful pee walk attempt. I held her and held her, the vet was late. My friend was sitting outside with us, her face is full of sorrow and sympathy, the pain of helplessness and knowing. My dear boyfriend was sawing and hammering away, building her tiny box from the pinewood I bought ages ago to build floor-to-wall book shelves. Now they will be her coffin. He layed her pink baby blanket inside and placed her oval pouty bed there too. The vet showed up and Shasta got a sleepy shot with painkiller. So I got to hold her while she went to sleep, the deep unconscious sleep, the unnaturally peaceful sleep. She fell in my arms, all nine pounds of her, as I layed her on her side, ready for the shave and the killer shot.
I can't write another detail about this horrible event that left me with a sizzling stone heart: at times is spews lava sparks that stick to me like melting plastic, or crackling sharp pieces of cutting pebbles that land inside me like projectiles.
We layed her tiny box with her tiny body and her softness and warmth in a hole under the window. She is decomposing as I write. I picture her rigid little body and soft little eyes and I think: YOu MOnster!
As I picked up all her things in the house and built a little shrine on the dining table I thought I could just make up for not having her breathe on my chest anymore. She wouldn't have wanted to go. I couldn't suffer for the both of us anymore.
She is not gone, what I have buried outside is my will to fight and my capacity to sustain the hurt that her care brought. I buried a piece of myself. Shasta, however, is not gone at all. She is the most spoildest, sweetest, stubbornest, daintiest, toughest and adorable little creature I've ever had in my life. And so shall she remain to be. With me forever.
Shasta's soul is in the air,
She's bringing me the rain,
She's bringing me the rain.
It was the weekend and she has had a peaceful night, the one before, so I was not filled with sorrow and worry about her tiny, warm existence that has seemed to have taken on a bitter quality when fighting for respite. Relief from the tiny coughs that almost seemed dainty, had I not known they meant her heart was working in futility; relief from the urge to empty her bladder but not wanting because it was painful, doing her endless, wobbly laps in the grass, on the pavement, tripping and swaying as her hind legs gave out and she pulled her tail down tight for protection.
Protection. I could not give. Relief I could not give. Cure that was not.
Countless intervals of comforting, holding, crying, singing softly, stroking her soft hair, cuddling her tiny, fragile, warm body, listening to hopeless whimpers, wanting to make it all go away and just keep the warmth and softness of her precious being.
Then Saturday came and the cycle started again: coughs, pee urges and fruitless circles, cradling her and giving her medication after medication. I kept to this cycle and helplessly followed her every sigh and cough. I gave her anything she wanted to eat, just eat! And she did...
During the night no respite came, just more intervals, going to the backyard for a quick pee, lapping up some water and taking the heart medication so she can lay down and breathe herself to sleep. I nestled her next to me, as always, but anxiously watched and waited for the next episode. All I wanted was rest, both for her and me.
I was worn out for months now, and come Saturday I started thinking about the end. The end to the cyles, intervals, episodes, painful tries and cries, envisioning the whole process of putting her to sleep. I felt disgustingly selfish and guilty, but I still saw the relief at the end. I cried but I stopped myself because I knew I was only preparing for something she would not be part of, the chilling cold and dark her missing presence will leave with me. I stopped because I wanted to be good to her, to cuddle and love and care for her while she was here. I sang the "You are my sunshine, My only sunshine..." song to her every night, sobbing into her soft hair, feeling her little heartbeats ease and her body relax in my arms, the rhythm and resonance of my shrieking pain lulling her to sleep. I felt awful and awful and awful but was so thankful for having her in my arm, across my chest, heartbeat to heartbeat.
Sunday came and I watched, heartbroken, frustrated and angry, how she couldn't get better, couldn't get relief, couldn't stop coughing, couldn't go pee-pee, couldn't just enjoy the wind in her face as she always used to do. I set my stone heart to make the call.
I was amazed at how diplomatic and efficient I was tracking down a house call vet and leaving a message requesting euthanasia, that day, if possible! MONSTER! MONSTER I am, I thought.
Monday afternoon she needed more pain medicine and after having taken it she deflated on my chest, as I sleepily held her in place, right over my heart as always, the fan blowing on her nosey. We went to sleep. Blessed afternoon nap. Like we used to do. Her and I on the big red couch, curtains and blinds drawn, fan air whipping, fluffy cover over us, spoon in spoon.
She died on that red couch, in the opposite corner, six o'clock that evening. I went to Wendy's for a double bacon cheese burger and chicken fingers, gave her a bowl of food she inhaled with gusto, drank lots of water and had an unsuccessful pee walk attempt. I held her and held her, the vet was late. My friend was sitting outside with us, her face is full of sorrow and sympathy, the pain of helplessness and knowing. My dear boyfriend was sawing and hammering away, building her tiny box from the pinewood I bought ages ago to build floor-to-wall book shelves. Now they will be her coffin. He layed her pink baby blanket inside and placed her oval pouty bed there too. The vet showed up and Shasta got a sleepy shot with painkiller. So I got to hold her while she went to sleep, the deep unconscious sleep, the unnaturally peaceful sleep. She fell in my arms, all nine pounds of her, as I layed her on her side, ready for the shave and the killer shot.
I can't write another detail about this horrible event that left me with a sizzling stone heart: at times is spews lava sparks that stick to me like melting plastic, or crackling sharp pieces of cutting pebbles that land inside me like projectiles.
We layed her tiny box with her tiny body and her softness and warmth in a hole under the window. She is decomposing as I write. I picture her rigid little body and soft little eyes and I think: YOu MOnster!
As I picked up all her things in the house and built a little shrine on the dining table I thought I could just make up for not having her breathe on my chest anymore. She wouldn't have wanted to go. I couldn't suffer for the both of us anymore.
She is not gone, what I have buried outside is my will to fight and my capacity to sustain the hurt that her care brought. I buried a piece of myself. Shasta, however, is not gone at all. She is the most spoildest, sweetest, stubbornest, daintiest, toughest and adorable little creature I've ever had in my life. And so shall she remain to be. With me forever.
Shasta's soul is in the air,
She's bringing me the rain,
She's bringing me the rain.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
More on taping injuries
My experience about the KT brand is mixed, and I'm writing this to fine-tune general knowledge of the benefits and uses of taping techniques.
The KT people have done something wonderful in providing an expansive and easy to use base for everyone. However (and of course I've got a "however"), their generalization may disocunt the benefits and proper technique of taping. Here's why. Their tapes are precut and pre-split. Actual taping requires varying lenghts and unsplit sections of tapes, neither which can be found in the pretty boxes of KT.
I recommend "Accutaping" or "The perfect kinesio taping" book to further your knowledge as these are my sources for my "howevers" (and I haven't found any others). In both of these publications, one which is written by two doctors, and the other which is written by the original Japanese Kinesio taping gurus (with often funny syntax, like those instructions translated by Chinese to English), the precise causes, symptoms and methods are examined and illustrated. One thing though I haven't found in either of my sources is reference to stretching or NOT stretching the tape, which I found very useful from KT. It is clear, however, after looking at other sources (even Rock taping on youtube), that when taping serves to losen tightened msucles, tendons and ligaments and the body is in a stretched position (as in a dorsiflexed foot before applying plantar fascia taping), the tape is partially stretched (never at the end where we lay it down last)... When mobilizing an area and/or opening up range of motion, as in the shoulder or back, where the bones in the joints may be misaligned or damaged (rotator cuff, knee) the tape is often unstretched.
In closing, as with anything valuable, you must find the reason and the mechanics for using tape, learn the body (sceletal and muscular map) and identify the source of injury. This is the most important paragraph in my ramble, KNOW what and why you are doing to truly help yourself or others. I have found great results in taping but sometimes it's accompanied by trial and error because the injured person cannot, in whole, relate the symptoms, or the symptoms may overlap with many causes that warrant different methods. In all, taping will not damage, if it doesn't fix, nor will it increase your risk for anything damaging. It will speed up recovery and enable usage. lessening pain and discomfort in the meantime.
Research, learn, and get the actual Kinesio tape in a roll that you can cut! I also have KT on hand for general quick fixes but what good does it do if it's too short, or rolls up at the splits that should've been solid?
ok, I do have real work to do, so Arrivederci gente!
The KT people have done something wonderful in providing an expansive and easy to use base for everyone. However (and of course I've got a "however"), their generalization may disocunt the benefits and proper technique of taping. Here's why. Their tapes are precut and pre-split. Actual taping requires varying lenghts and unsplit sections of tapes, neither which can be found in the pretty boxes of KT.
I recommend "Accutaping" or "The perfect kinesio taping" book to further your knowledge as these are my sources for my "howevers" (and I haven't found any others). In both of these publications, one which is written by two doctors, and the other which is written by the original Japanese Kinesio taping gurus (with often funny syntax, like those instructions translated by Chinese to English), the precise causes, symptoms and methods are examined and illustrated. One thing though I haven't found in either of my sources is reference to stretching or NOT stretching the tape, which I found very useful from KT. It is clear, however, after looking at other sources (even Rock taping on youtube), that when taping serves to losen tightened msucles, tendons and ligaments and the body is in a stretched position (as in a dorsiflexed foot before applying plantar fascia taping), the tape is partially stretched (never at the end where we lay it down last)... When mobilizing an area and/or opening up range of motion, as in the shoulder or back, where the bones in the joints may be misaligned or damaged (rotator cuff, knee) the tape is often unstretched.
In closing, as with anything valuable, you must find the reason and the mechanics for using tape, learn the body (sceletal and muscular map) and identify the source of injury. This is the most important paragraph in my ramble, KNOW what and why you are doing to truly help yourself or others. I have found great results in taping but sometimes it's accompanied by trial and error because the injured person cannot, in whole, relate the symptoms, or the symptoms may overlap with many causes that warrant different methods. In all, taping will not damage, if it doesn't fix, nor will it increase your risk for anything damaging. It will speed up recovery and enable usage. lessening pain and discomfort in the meantime.
Research, learn, and get the actual Kinesio tape in a roll that you can cut! I also have KT on hand for general quick fixes but what good does it do if it's too short, or rolls up at the splits that should've been solid?
ok, I do have real work to do, so Arrivederci gente!
For muscle, tendon, ligament injuries
In all my years of breaking down my body I've learned that less is more when it comes to injury treatment, unless it's an acute or debilitating injury that needs attention.
Here are my beliefs:
1. Ice is a miracle treatment, but needs to be applied right away and combined with number
2. rest
3. Kinesio taping is absolutely wonderful and if applied correctly can increase recovery and mobility and use by a LOT.
4. Invasive stuff, and here I'll include drugs too, should only be used if really necessary. Some study was released recently showing a 4 fold increase for chances of cancer for people who regularly use certain NSAIDs. Top of the list: ibuprofen. Bottom of the list: naproxen. And we haven't even gotten to the replacement options that MARKET artificial joints then 10 years later show up in TV ads for suing the manufacturer. Just like DePuy hips now. REgardless, they don't generally last more then 10 years and the people who have had them and believe to be doing fine look like zombie movie extras. I personally know of a (popular) athlete who insists on doing Ironmans and full marathons while running like he has just gone through a minefield (and scored), dragging a leg behind and tilting to one side. I also know of another one who is so old, and so slow, that his 10 mile a day runs probably take him 4 hours while everyone watches with pain. Because it looks painful. If you'd ask them they'd tell you they are doing fine, doing great! Such world-class performance (from a cripple - sorry).
Jack Lalanne would tell them to sit down.
Injections and manipulations may or may not work. Why take the chance?
Me, I just keep on running on a torn ACL, keeping my steps VERY much inline and neutral, taping and moaning. I just run less and a bit slower. No more plyometrics, lateral movements and downhill impact. Geez, 20 years from now I'll be an artifical knee candidate, but if I've rested enough in the onset period I wouldn't have this problem now.
It is perhaps the hardest part... rest.
IN the meantime, taping is much better than pills. Ice is much better then heat (unless you have a nerve issue, but 90% of the time it's not the case). Proper conditioning and rest are key to avoiding getting here.
Still, try ice and tape before reaching for anything else. No, I'm not a doctor. Or a zombie-runner minefield-shuffler.
:)
Here are my beliefs:
1. Ice is a miracle treatment, but needs to be applied right away and combined with number
2. rest
3. Kinesio taping is absolutely wonderful and if applied correctly can increase recovery and mobility and use by a LOT.
4. Invasive stuff, and here I'll include drugs too, should only be used if really necessary. Some study was released recently showing a 4 fold increase for chances of cancer for people who regularly use certain NSAIDs. Top of the list: ibuprofen. Bottom of the list: naproxen. And we haven't even gotten to the replacement options that MARKET artificial joints then 10 years later show up in TV ads for suing the manufacturer. Just like DePuy hips now. REgardless, they don't generally last more then 10 years and the people who have had them and believe to be doing fine look like zombie movie extras. I personally know of a (popular) athlete who insists on doing Ironmans and full marathons while running like he has just gone through a minefield (and scored), dragging a leg behind and tilting to one side. I also know of another one who is so old, and so slow, that his 10 mile a day runs probably take him 4 hours while everyone watches with pain. Because it looks painful. If you'd ask them they'd tell you they are doing fine, doing great! Such world-class performance (from a cripple - sorry).
Jack Lalanne would tell them to sit down.
Injections and manipulations may or may not work. Why take the chance?
Me, I just keep on running on a torn ACL, keeping my steps VERY much inline and neutral, taping and moaning. I just run less and a bit slower. No more plyometrics, lateral movements and downhill impact. Geez, 20 years from now I'll be an artifical knee candidate, but if I've rested enough in the onset period I wouldn't have this problem now.
It is perhaps the hardest part... rest.
IN the meantime, taping is much better than pills. Ice is much better then heat (unless you have a nerve issue, but 90% of the time it's not the case). Proper conditioning and rest are key to avoiding getting here.
Still, try ice and tape before reaching for anything else. No, I'm not a doctor. Or a zombie-runner minefield-shuffler.
:)
All Natural Products - semantics
OOOOOOOOkay, so would you say that catpoop is natural? It's certainly not manufactured. Who would want to...?
So your all natural food may, technically, contain catpoop. If you are lucky. I've seen worse natural things than that. Maggots, for instance.
But that's enough grossness. Just realize that the word: natural: means just that. It does not mean that your food is wholesome and pure and clean and yummy. It means that the companies have found yet another marketing trick to get you buy their product: marketing is all this is. Not "goodness"!!!!
So your all natural food may, technically, contain catpoop. If you are lucky. I've seen worse natural things than that. Maggots, for instance.
But that's enough grossness. Just realize that the word: natural: means just that. It does not mean that your food is wholesome and pure and clean and yummy. It means that the companies have found yet another marketing trick to get you buy their product: marketing is all this is. Not "goodness"!!!!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
More secrets revealed, as NOT seen on Dr. Oz
If "Tide" is improved with baking soda and tooth paste is improved with baking soda, then why don't we just wash and brush with baking soda?
If you must moisturize your hands while you are washing dishes you are in denile. Not in Egypt. Just not very smart... Wash, THEN moisturize. I don't need my dishes glistening with lotion.
If you can lose weight by having your stomach shrank (shrunk, shrinken, effen irregular English verbs), then wouldn't it be easier to shrink your plates and bowls or tape your hands together? Just seems less invasive...
If you are unhappy, don't think the LORD has special plans for you and it all has a reason. No, you need to make a change and change is hard. So get off your ass and stop waiting for a sign (that more ()*^&%^& is on the way - for no reason). Take charge, take responsibility and stop waiting for things to HAPPEN to you. There is no script. And no, you are not getting paid for this performance, no matter how much you suffer... geez! Heaven is closer than you think, you're just refusing to get there, keeping everyone around you in HELL (and dead people rot, I'm afraid, and why would "god" collect all the weak, pitiful, useless souls anyway? We all rot, but some of us manage to bloom before that). oopos, sidetracked.
Have a lovely evening and a brand new day! Help someone and be pleasant to and patient with others. Even if they choose to "suffer" in promise of a false paycheck...geez!
If you must moisturize your hands while you are washing dishes you are in denile. Not in Egypt. Just not very smart... Wash, THEN moisturize. I don't need my dishes glistening with lotion.
If you can lose weight by having your stomach shrank (shrunk, shrinken, effen irregular English verbs), then wouldn't it be easier to shrink your plates and bowls or tape your hands together? Just seems less invasive...
If you are unhappy, don't think the LORD has special plans for you and it all has a reason. No, you need to make a change and change is hard. So get off your ass and stop waiting for a sign (that more ()*^&%^& is on the way - for no reason). Take charge, take responsibility and stop waiting for things to HAPPEN to you. There is no script. And no, you are not getting paid for this performance, no matter how much you suffer... geez! Heaven is closer than you think, you're just refusing to get there, keeping everyone around you in HELL (and dead people rot, I'm afraid, and why would "god" collect all the weak, pitiful, useless souls anyway? We all rot, but some of us manage to bloom before that). oopos, sidetracked.
Have a lovely evening and a brand new day! Help someone and be pleasant to and patient with others. Even if they choose to "suffer" in promise of a false paycheck...geez!
The secret fuel efficiency of the Prius
Its drivers drive 10 miles UNDER the speed limit, at all times.
Annoying but true... very efficient... almost beats a bycycle - morons.
Annoying but true... very efficient... almost beats a bycycle - morons.
doggie dog life
Well, good news: Shasta is not going blind
Bad news: she is going cognitively numb
In other words: her brain doesn't open the emails her eyes send. So she doesn't get the messages.
but it's ok, as she was also found with acute heart failure and kidney and bladder stones, all of which is under control now, and,if we are to believe her lovely vet with his dimples, she can live a long life with meds.
She only has to go on a diet with veggies and hardly any meat. Yeah, right...
But! I fixed that too... inquired a visiting dog, Cody, who inspires Shasta to eat everything in sight. In her blind state she managed to find Cody food bowls and left overs and she eats it all up. Today, I fed her 5 times. Out of the can and with raw, chopped up veggies. She would never have eaten that, was it not for her comeptition.
She figures (that's funny to picture - her figuring), so she figures that if his food is gone he'll be gone too and things will get back to normal. Actually, Cody is the one suffering because I'm so afraid of not balancing the attention well that I probably deprive him, not her. Never her.
In any case, life is good, the weather is ridiculously awesome, and the park is green with blue sky over it and lots of pee spots and cool breezes.
I love this life and everyone in it.
Peace!!!
and be nice to others - for no reason at all
Bad news: she is going cognitively numb
In other words: her brain doesn't open the emails her eyes send. So she doesn't get the messages.
but it's ok, as she was also found with acute heart failure and kidney and bladder stones, all of which is under control now, and,if we are to believe her lovely vet with his dimples, she can live a long life with meds.
She only has to go on a diet with veggies and hardly any meat. Yeah, right...
But! I fixed that too... inquired a visiting dog, Cody, who inspires Shasta to eat everything in sight. In her blind state she managed to find Cody food bowls and left overs and she eats it all up. Today, I fed her 5 times. Out of the can and with raw, chopped up veggies. She would never have eaten that, was it not for her comeptition.
She figures (that's funny to picture - her figuring), so she figures that if his food is gone he'll be gone too and things will get back to normal. Actually, Cody is the one suffering because I'm so afraid of not balancing the attention well that I probably deprive him, not her. Never her.
In any case, life is good, the weather is ridiculously awesome, and the park is green with blue sky over it and lots of pee spots and cool breezes.
I love this life and everyone in it.
Peace!!!
and be nice to others - for no reason at all
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