Waking up alone

Is awful. The realization of emptiness hits me square in the chest and the tears just start pouring out.
Where is my fluffy puppy? Where is the little bundle of warmth on my chest?
It's gone. Stone fills the place of warmth, stone that's sits in my chest and crackles with the pain of loss. I made her go away and I put that stone in there.
Her warm brown eyes won't look up at me, she won't settle across my shoulder and under my chin, and I can't put my face on her tiny head. She won't nestle next to me and I won't see her wobble down the street looking for a potty spot. Her things are all picked up and are thrown into the spare room, a bed left out here and there (as she had so many), pieces of her hair locked in a plastic bag. Her medicines, shampoos, treats - out of sight. Herself, out of sight.
It hurts so much to wake up without her, it hurts like breaking stone with a sledgehammer on my chest.
I'm going to build her stone garden over the grave and speckle it with beautfiul flowers. I will build this and weep.
Will this ever end?

I understand that I will not have her bodily presence with me ever again. I do.
I understand that her memories I should keep, and those should keep my heart warm.
But right now that heart is trying to stay a stone, but its hardness is no protection at all, no, it's condensed pain, it's grief, and it hurts.

I miss my fluffy angel, I miss you POOH!